Here, in this life, I took pleasure
only when others took pleasure in me.
I never dwelt in the Commandments of God,
not did I fully stray from These.
I did not fulfill my every duty unto the Lord--
attempting, only missing miserably.
I never held confidence that He
held confidence in me.
I strove not like some others,
nor did I lag behind.
Yet I never took pleasure in that worship,
which always seemed incomplete.
february 22nd 1995 18 years old
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